Like most people, I have a fairly elevated hatred of commercials. I haven’t had old-fashioned cable television in over seven years, so I don’t watch “regular TV” very often. Not that that even really matters; hell, we’re bombarded by ads incessantly every single day.
But, there is one marketing ploy that I have to admit, I really love.
And that is the Chantix Slow Turkey.
You probably know what I’m talking about, but if you don’t, in a nutshell: Chantix is a pill you can buy to help you quit smoking. Their tagline?
“It’s tough to quit smoking cold turkey. CHANTIX can help you quit slow turkey.”
According to their website:
“CHANTIX is a nicotine-free prescription pill that, along with support, can help you quit smoking. Even if you are a pack-a-day smoker, CHANTIX can help you reduce the urge for cigarettes. In fact, in the largest study of its kind, CHANTIX helped significantly more people quit than the nicotine patch.”
Now, the irony that I love a mascot for a medication that helps people quit smoking is not lost on me. Full disclosure: I’m a smoker. A heavy smoker. I know, I know: it’s terrible. It’s a disgusting habit, it’s ridiculously expensive, not to mention incredibly stupid considering I know how harmful it is for me. But what can I say. I’m addicted. I started smoking at age 14, just over 20 years ago. It’s not something I’m proud of.
I just love this damn turkey. He does everything. Whether he’s camping out in the woods, or making lemonade and smoothies in his kitchen, or going paddle-boarding in a lake, I just think this slow little turkey is the cutest damn mascot. And I find it a clever marketing ploy too, I must admit.
I mean, he’s a slow turkey. Get it? In all their ads, he’s lounging around, taking it easy, doing “normal” everyday things. It’s damn adorable.
The Slow Turkey Goes Camping.
The Slow Turkey Feeds His Fish.
He Feeds The Birds.
He Waters His Lawn.
The Slow Turkey Takes A Dip In The Pool.
He’s An Avid Reader.
He Chops His Own Firewood.
He Enjoys A Nice Glass of Lemonade.
And yes, he even loves to paddle board.
Do I have any plans to quit smoking anytime soon? Honestly no, though I wish I wanted to, but eh- maybe someday.
TL;DR: I love this fictional turkey.
And no, I was not paid anything to write this post… I really am just that big of a nerd.