Do Not Date A Graphic Designer

Right, as if THIS list hasn’t been stolen & recirculated throughout various blogs countless times.

However, i too will jump on the bandwagon as i think it brings up some pretty good points. at least, if you are me. which, you aren’t. but, whatever.
Also, i could probably add about fifty MORE reasons to this list, but why try to fix it if it ain’t broken. Some of these, i feel, don’t apply though- so of course I’ll just make my snarky notes in red italics. Some of these may be a bit insulting to Graphic Designers – but, eh, really I think it’s more funny than an insult.
Reasons in bold are the ones that particularly strike home.


(Looking for a list of reasons why you should date a graphic designer? Click here.)


50 Reasons Not To Date A Graphic Designer.

1. They are very weird people.
(excellent place to start.)
2. There are billions of them in the world, like colors on the screen of your computer.
(that’s just the stupidest sentence i’ve read all day.)
3. They will analyze conversations in layers.
4. You will spend the day assembling furniture from IKEA.
(yeah, RIGHT.)

5. They drink and eat all kinds of weird shit just because they like the packaging.
(so that’s why i have NOTHING worth eating in my fridge. oh, & i’m allergic to grocery shopping.)

6. They hate each other.
(well, that’s probably more or less true, depending on the day. Bipolar anyone?)
7. You’ll come out the last out of the movies because you have to see the full list of credits.
8. They cant change a light bulb without making a sketch.
9. They fuck up all the tables with their cutters.
(sorry about that, pop.)
10. They rather study the paisley pattern on your outfit than listen to what you have to say.
(if i knew what paisley was, i would get this more. & yes, i am currently googling it.)
11. They will fill your house with magazines and whatever is out there that has drawings.
(my favorite: vintage magazines with advertisements for cigarettes, typewriters, &  “feminine products”.)
12. You never know if it is really an original or a copy.
13. They make collages with your photos.
14. They do not know how to add and subtract, they just understand letters.
(YES. i cannot emphasize the truth of this enough. YES. i have no idea how i graduated high school.)
15. They idolize people who nobody knows and speak of them as if they were his or her colleagues.
16. They take pictures almost daily and they’re cut in weird shapes.
17. They ask your opinion about everything but  they do whatever they want.
18. Everything is left justified, right or centered unless they arrive late.
19. They hate Comic Sans with the same passion they love Helvetica.
(this is a tough call. i’ve always rebelled against Helvetica but… yeah it’s grown on me.)
20. They use iPhone for everything, because everyone has one.
(Nope. i hate AT&T THAT MUCH.)

21. You can’t decorate the house without consulting them.
22. They steal street signs.
(no comment.)
23. Always carry their hands painted with something.
(that damn sentence doesn’t even make sense. Spell check? i can’t even make it into a cool sentence.)
24. They buy dolls unfinished for them to paint.
(i want a mannequin. doll=creepy)
25. Everything becomes something other than what it really is: cards as tickets, cards as …
26. When arguing, you will be nicknamed like the OSX spinning wheel (not affectionately)
27. They do not know how to dress without consulting the Pantone book.
(fortunately for me, i am an aquarius therefore always appear to have dressed myself in the dark apparently.)
28. They hate Excel.
29. They read comics.
30. They want to save the world only with a poster.
31. They will spend the day brainstorming.
32. On vacation they will take you to countries that you don’t know exist and have no beach.
33. Museums are their second home.
34. They know more positions than the Kama sutra.
35. They can’t go to a restaurant without secretly critiquing the menu design.
36. They listen to music you have never heard of.
37. They can´t cook a normal dish, they always have to experiment with new ingredients.
(i don’t cook.)
38. They read rare books: stories of children, Semiotics …
39. When they are going to tell you something, everyone has read it in their facebook and twitter.
(this post is already tweeted, even though i’m still writing it.)
40. They own iPods before you knew they existed.
41. The orgasm they remember is when they heard that Adobe was acquiring Macromedia.
42. They have their own shops just for them and they are the most expensive in the city.
(so far from true. almost everything i wear or own is from Goodwill or some other various random thrift store i found.)
43. They want to spend all their money in the Apple Store.
44. You will never understand their gifts.
45. They see ordinary objects and laugh.
46. You wake up in the middle of the night hear them screaming “When is the deadline?”
47. They see CMYK and RGB like Neo sees the Matrix.
48. They dream of the day nobody will make a single change to their designs.
(Gave up on that years ago.)

49. They’d rather pay for a font than for a special birthday gift.
50. They are always sleepy because they work 24/7.

3 thoughts on “Do Not Date A Graphic Designer

  1. #23: “Always have their hands covered with paint.” or “Their hands always look like they’ve been throwing balls of paint around.”

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